The discovery of infidelity is usually profound emotional impact. The days and weeks of insomnia, meditation, fantasy (multi) and non-productivity. It usually takes 2 - 4 years, the meaning of "work". A good coach or therapist can accelerate and appease the process of I do not recommend "marriage" counseling, at least initially. How can you help? Devastating emotional impact results from a couple powerful driving force. Trust shattered - the ability to discern the truth. The most important step is to learn to trust other people, but to learn to believe in one's self. Another is the power play in a secret relationship. Pay secret emotional, and sometimes physical toll, need to be recognized and dealt with. Another form of infidelity Live certainly desirable purpose of the individual. "OK", may lead to a commonplace problem, usually short-term and one-person thing. Finally, some events are trying to balance the needs of distance and intimacy of the marriage, the spouse's dance often collusion. . The survivability marriage for each different prognosis. Some affairs are the best thing to happen in a marriage. The death knell for other services. Meanwhile, different extramarital affairs spouse or other part of the person, require different strategies. Some demand toughness and movement. Others need patience and understanding. Extramarital affair might be for revenge, because the spouse did or did not do. May be due to anger or revenge. Although revenge is the motivation of both, they look and feel very different.